From a friend:

A wave of animal cruelty has the World Wildlife Federation up in
arms. On the first day of this new year a lion was found viciously
mauled. A week later, a bengaled tiger was discovered horribly
beaten. While the lion only had fresh wounds, the tiger appears to
have been suffering regular beatings for years.

Just seven days after that, a colt was found battered. People at the
scene said it kept muttering something about not getting enough
protection. Hours ago, Denver authorities found another horse, this
time a bronco, wandering the streets. The horse was not physically
injured, but quite dazed and confused. When asked about the
incident, the hapless horse said “I was at home and everything was
fine. I was about to feed my pet snake when he started choking and
screaming about some sort of terrible towel following it around.”

Rumor has it that the next target will be some sort of bird, a
seahawk. All of the victims report trying to peek behind a giant
steel curtain shortly before their incidents. As a result, the
following warning has been issued to all animals: Peek behind a
steel curtain, get hit by THE BUS.

G O S TE EL ER S !!!!!!!