OK, first, get your mind out of the gutter.

Second, has this ever happened to you? I’ve been treating myself to a massage about once a month or so, and the past 3 times, when I try to get off the table, my lower back says, “NO WAY.” It’s not just painful, it’s like the muscles have forgotten how to work. They are on strike for about 5 minutes, they won’t stand up, they won’t hold my midsection stable. I try to walk and my legs buckle and it hurts like hell. Then it’s like I almost pass out. My body is a like noodle that folds in half in the middle. It’s like the part of my back that controls my posture is just totally out to lunch. What’s going on?

I suppose if I hopped out of bed first thing in the mornign without stretchign, lamenting the time of morning and wrestling with my cats for the alarm clock it might happen then, too, but I usualy don’t get out of bed until my back agrees it’s time.